The 45 Blog

Re-reading the Odyssey. So interesting to read as I get trained as a Jungian Coach and while re-reading Genesis. The hero’s journey, as seen with Abram becoming Abraham and Jacob becoming Israel , and Telemachus coming of age and the resistance he feels at his young age to take risks and mature, feels like a cycle.

God has to deposit courage in us to become what he aims for– and you have to stay still to be filled with it, in order to take the leap, to journey.

It’s happening to me now– for the umpteenth time.

For the last four years, I’ve been jamming my fingers into a keyboard to write fiction and failed.

But the poetry always comes out. So do the murals. Might as well do what’s natural.

Formative poems. John Berryman’s Dream Songs and The Ball Poem. I re-read Dream Song 1 multiple times , as well as Number 4 and Number 14.

It’s not just the content and the vulnerability — but the metrics, syntax, and punctuation. The timing and awkwardness in the lines captures so much neurosis, love, and longing in a broken song that , to my ear, is perfect.

Of the different poets I love, there’s a spiritual craving for Berryman’s work. Elliot does this to me, as does Seidel and Creeley some extent.

What I wonder about is what triggers such a strong craving at different times, if there’s a mood that causes me to seek out his work, then put it back for another time.

All I know is once I start re-reading him, and listening to his recordings, he’s hard to stop.

The last few weeks, I’ve been focusing on producing talks instead of writing fiction and screenplays. There’s always a sense of failure with the latter. Does the proverbial tree make a sound if there’s no one there to witness it ? Likewise, is the story really a story of there’s no one there to listen to it or read it?

And yet, that’s what I aspire to do. Guess it’s time to shake off the rust and get busy again.

They aren’t going to edit themselves. And if no one reads them– so be it . It’s the creation that matters.

My youngest has added a new way to start her week. She volunteers on Mondays at a cancer center, helping the patients with their exercises. It’s at 8:00 AM. She walks 20 minutes to get there , then 20 minutes back to campus. She reports the optimism and positive energy that each of the patients exude. Soon she realizes that any test or task she’s been given by a professor is a cake walk– and that complaining is silly.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had that kind of perspective shift to start the week?

1. Branding requires consistency. If a website communicates a certain image, then the product or service must match it. That’s branding. If the actual is less than the image portrayed, it’s advertising.
2. Sometimes the 20th time works. Recording something can be frustrating– but taking a few breaths, meditating, and setting an intention helps– not all the time, but enough.

Aliright. I’ve been an analog person for a long time, but this kindle reader that you can write in is changing my mind. Instead of having 5 paper journals, I now have them in one digital one, along with a library organized by themes. Usually I spent 400 bucks a year on paper and pens, but this eliminates that expense.

Love it.

A pretty perfect day. Awoke at 4:30 , as if something were pulling me out of bed. I immediately wrote, then went for a starlit walk with my wife. For some reason I had the notion that my red glasses would return to me. I scheduled time to clean the house in search of them.

After finishing my writing session at 8:30, my oldest and I went out for coffee and when we returned, the red glasses were sitting on my jeep.

I took it as a sign to get bold again.

1. The kind of person who farts in the dark vs the kind of person who farts in the light.
2. Do coddled children grow up to be fragile teachers with a less formal persona? If so, how does that affect classroom structure, safety and effectiveness? DO kids even listen?
3. Do DEI phrases in school literature, such as being an anti-racist organization that fights for equity or closes the achievement gap, actually increase teacher bias towards students, lowering expectations and aspirations? With phrases front-loaded that way, it seems that they may work in the same manner that trigger warnings do– the anticipation makes things worse than reality.

4. Do you want to be the band-aid or do you want to part of be the cure?

On this morning’s walk, the old man with the chihuahua didn’t say good morning. Instead, he stared at the woods that were getting destroyed by heavy machinery. One of the backhoes had the size, strength and roar of a dinosaur in a Jurassic Park.

I joined him for a moment because I get it.

It’s in our dna.

The only fossil is this picture.

Rolling the half-full garbage can to the curb, I could feel it wobble as the contents moved around on the inside. The weight was shifting.

If it were empty, there would be no weight to shift around– therefore there would be fewer wobbles.

If it were full, the space inside would be minimal– therefore there would be no room for the objects to shift and cause unbalance.

It’s a message– be full of commitment to one singular purpose to stay balanced or be empty to achieve the same balance, yet be unfulfilled.

Those are the only real options because the consequence of being half-empty and half-full causes accidents. Things tip over during the wobble and everything gets messy.