The 45 Blog

Discovering what you’re uniquely positioned to do , based on strengths and talent, THEN going after it VS Passively accepting life and work– and letting life happen to you.

Isn’t that the basic conflict after all?

Whether it’s taking jobs to pay the bills or marrying someone because they happened to talk to you, many are focused only on satisfactory survival. That’s it.

Today, I visited the Parthenon in Paris. The tombs of Aime Cesaire and Curie brought me tears to my eyes, but overall I was overwhelmed with beauty and artistry. Everything made me weep. My kids even caught me crying.

To think that these incredible people will be remembered nationally and across the world for their contributions really put things in perspective for me. While there are many naysayers who believe that we are only on earth for a short time before becoming worm meat, I believe we should all work towards being buried in a place, such as the Parthenon or a proxy.

That, + heaven, is worth it.

In Ireland, I felt something close to a truly human experience– and I did so by just walking the streets for a few hours in Dublin and Limerick. First off, the number of small operator-run businesses is incredible. Of the stores and shops we visited, owners and managers were invested in our experience because they’re invested in their reputation as well as the reputation of their business. Of course, that’s a gross generalization, but it really felt that way. Ownership, humility and mastery in ones field or business has great advantages because the distance between the owner and lowest man or woman on the totem pole is merely inches.

However, more importantly, I am curious about the cosmetic surgical and SSRI habits of folks in Ireland. In America, almost 20% of adult women take some form of medication for depression or anxiety. As such, we are dealing with a version of a person that may not be entirely authentic. Can you imagine dating someone who is on the meds, then decides to discontinue after marriage? That would be trying and telling in terms of assessing the overall strength and authentic value of the relationship.

Who you date vs who you marry can be totally altered.

It’s wild.

While there’s a rise in using meds in Ireland, the people didn’t seem shiny and plasticly . I hope they don’t succumb to the internet social media glitz of surface perfection, like we have, because they seem to have something decent going on.

It would be strange to allow strangers into your home whenever they wanted to come over for a drink. They could be criminals, living in the same neighborhood as you and your family. Usually, you invite people over to your place only when you feel ready to, because you can have fun and it’s safe and they’re safe. They’ve been vetted . There was a process , and it clicked. That’s it. It’s human. Even at the cellular level– where the smallest animal cells have some semblance of border or a wall.

The tapestry of homes in the neighborhood, each with its own genetic sequence of holiday lights and or a total lack of decor. My house was one of the homes that was lacking. No lights. No red. No White. No Seasons Greetings. Just our home. The first time in years we haven’t decorated. But after walking and talking to our youngest in Ireland, we put up two wreaths , some lights and a half finished Christmas tree. She told us she was listening to Christmas music, which she does every season. When she asked if the house was decorated, we told her “no”, because we we’re traveling to Europe to pick her up. That’s when I got to work, thankful for the reminder and that she can be sentimental sometimes.

I witnessed a conversation in a school. A parent was angered that her child was threatened by a staff member. After being scolded for mooning the class, the student felt angry and embarrassed, so he left the room. He called the teacher a “heifer” and gave her the bird on his way out. The kid also mentioned calling his cousins, which the teacher perceived as a threat. She retaliated — said she had cousins, too AND she’s also friends with the soccer coach– all she needs to do is talk to him and the kid will get benched.

This threw him in a rage.

Soon his mother comes up.

The teacher lies about what was said and the mom keeps on talking about her son’s anger issues– a disease that gets blamed for more outbursts than seems possible. Mom then talks about how what her son did was wrong, but he also has those damn anger issues and only she or his brothers can keep him in check.

And yet she’s afraid that this teacher’s cousins are going to seek them out.

Reading a short story by Murakami, I smile when there’s a knock at the door. The unnamed protagonist opens it. Often, the person on the other side is a woman, whom he invites in and offers food. They have amazing conversations, something weird happens, then she leaves.

The part I like best is the “knocking on the door” part. People would never think of barging in on your private time these days. But I feel like it wasn’t too long ago when we did.

You might be passing through your buddy’s neighborhood, and decide to pop by for a quick beer.

Or you might be passing by your grandma’s house, and decide to stop by unannounced just to say you love her.

Whatever the cost, I wish the culture of knocking on doors would come back.

What an awful exchange with the airline. I hate being the person who’s aggressive, dismissive and mean to the customer service workers , but sometimes it’s necessary. They either hang up or pass you off to the next highest ranking person in line until you reach the top of the hierarchy, which is what I want.

This ones name is Sheila.

Once I hear her voice, my heart rate goes down and I can breathe easily. Why? Because I can have a conversation and get some answers from the person who actually knows the playbook.

We’ll engage in small talk. She’ll ask me how I’m doing, and I’ll bark back that I’m doing just fine.

Then I get the nerve to ask her, Why is it your people don’t know the playbook? Do you find satisfaction in them looking like fools?

And then she chuckles and says, Yeah, yeah I do.

The last two trips to the doctor’s office, my blood pressure maintains a healthy level. It’s the first time in years that it hasn’t been elevated. As I read over my journals and morning pages from 2023, which is part of my Year In Review Protocol, one theme that is arriving is a reawakening of my spiritual life. On each page there is evidence of God and faith. Additionally, there’s the fight against smoking and more. From what I can tell, smoking cessation is likely the cause of the lower blood pressure, but I’m also seeing the importance of a spiritual innerscape .

I read somewhere this week that if you want to repair the outside, you have to fix what is inside and what is core. This feels true in almost every facet of life.

If organizations want to fix their reputation, work on the inside and internal matters first before launching a PR campaign. Who knows, it may not be necessary to launch the campaign. If the internal change is real, felt and witnessed, reputation will tell the story for you.

Printing off the first-draft of a novel just feels different. It’s a beginning and a crash ending. All the work only produced a potential story that may not be any good. I’ll read it, then react to it. I’ll read it again, then organize it. I’ll read it again, then make it beautiful.

Child: If we had merch for our family, what would it be? What’s our slogan ?

Mother: <Silence>