Reading some books feels like walking in the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights. At least that’s the feeling I have after living through Kokoro by Natsume Soseki. Because the novel is written in the first person narrative, there are pages upon pages of internal dark monologue that get burned into you. Even the way you talk to yourself changes– for the worse. You feel like a coward, you hate yourself, and the other people around you can smell it on you. And it goes on for the length of the novel . But on Saturday morning, when you close the book for the final time, you thaw, right in front of your family. Then you smile at your wife, happy that someone in the world has the courage to love you, even if just for a short time, between K dramas.